


cross my heart

by saintpyrite



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Background Relationships, M/M, Unrequited Love, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintpyrite/pseuds/saintpyrite
Summary: Janus doesn't want another date.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	cross my heart

"Run me through this again because you've lost me." 

Janus felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of Virgil's piercing eyes. He kept his eyes on the drizzle outside, the cafe becoming white noise. 

"You turned down _another_ date?" 

"No," Janus sighed with the unrelenting urge to roll his eyes at the tone of Virgil's voice, "I went on the date but I turned down a _second_ date." 

"What was wrong with this guy?" 

There was nothing wrong with the man in truth but Janus bit down on his tongue, lying through his teeth as if it was as natural as breathing. 

"He was using his psychological tricks on me, I told you I didn't want to date a therapist."

" _Jesus Christ_ , what about the last guy?" Virgil asked, patience waning. 

"Remy was _fine_ but he has no ambition in life; what am I supposed to do with a man like that?" 

"Not fine enough for a second date it seems, what about the one before that?" 

"Dice. He was _rude_ and it grew tiresome hearing him speak ill of Roman and Remus." 

"That's an _actual_ reason at least," Virgil took a sip from his mug, the contents being a black coffee with a ridiculous amount of sugar. "When was the last time you went on a successful date?" 

"I don't know," Janus lies immediately before backtracking reluctantly, "The one with Roman last year?" 

"Roman!" Virgil put his mug down with a _clatter_ , "Why don't you call him? You two get along so well!" 

The date with Roman last year had been splendid. The man had spared no expense, a rose bouquet at the door and the entire night had been astounding. Roman had been the perfect gentleman with charm, passion and wit that Janus would have found enchanting if it wasn't for _one thing_. 

"I'd rather not." 

"Why?" Virgil asked, exasperated as this conversation dragged on. 

Janus' amber eyes fell on the silver band wrapped around Virgil's ring finger. There it was, a bitter taste on the end of Janus' tongue as he tried to tear his gaze away. 

Janus didn't want just any man. He wants _Virgil_. 

"I don't think I'll find anyone else who has what I'm looking for," Janus shrugged and as if he didn't hate this conversation enough already, "How is Patton?" 

Virgil ran a thumb over the silver band, a smile so sincere and filled with hope struck arrows into Janus. He bit down on his tongue harder, beads of blood mixing with the taste of bitter jealousy. 

"He's doing well," Virgil went on, spinning the ring in place on his finger, "planning the wedding has been _stressful_ but Patton has done so much to make it easy on me."

"You sound excited for the wedding," Janus smiled despite himself. "I was expecting you to have cold feet from the word go." 

"So did I but this is the first time I've been certain of anything, that's just how much I trust him."

"Trust, huh?" Janus clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "I remember you saying you never wanted to get married when we were kids." 

"That was before I had Patton."

Virgil looked so happy and it made Janus want dangerous things he could never have. His hand twitched, fingers dancing against the mahogany table before reaching out to run a thumb against the cool metal of the engagement ring. 

"Janus?" Virgil frowned, watching with those curious eyes. 

"You deserve this," Janus mumbled, letting his thumb run over the silver band once more before retreating backwards, "You're both going to be so happy." 

"Thanks, Janus." 

Janus stared back out at the rain, watching the droplets run down the window. He wonders if Virgil knows and that is why the silence befalls them, maybe he doesn’t know a thing and enjoys the quiet moments they share where words don't need to be exchanged for them to enjoy one another's company.

He might never know the answer, Janus was too scared to ask for the fear of what it would mean for them going forward. 

"Janus," Virgil leaned forward, hands clasped around his mug, "You'll find someone." 

"Thank you, Virgil." 

"I mean it," Virgil continued, "Don't give up, alright?" 

Janus laughed heartily, as tragedy and comedy are often two sides of the same coin and right now, he felt as if he was the punchline. 

"I would never." 

Janus always kept his fingers crossed. 


End file.
